I feel terrible and confident at the same time

What an eventful trip… I just spent 9 days in HK with my parents, and needed to do a little indy exploring of HK. Then I went to Seoul Korea with them and spent 4 solid days with them. This was a true trial for me. I never experience such difficultly living with any person in my life. I seriously mean what I just said.

Here is how I would describe it. I’ve always thought my parents were supportive of me, and have a similar concept of unconditional love which I have, or we all might have. However, I was completely derailed with a huge argument with my mother. In essences, love is a condition base on the way they understand love to be. Yes, I know, we all have a preconception of how we view love, and hence we have to work hard to accept the way others see love. However, I found there are some fundamental contradiction to how mum views love which makes living my love, or my life as a Christian difficult. First, the condition is base on the fact that they are my parents, ‘honouring’ them means to do as they ‘think’ and ‘say’. Me having a growingly vast different concept of love, have a tough time accepting this. In a real life example, it would be something like this. I see someone in help, so I offer to help, I get this nagging look from my mum or dad that either, ‘what dod you think you can do to help?’, or ‘why are you bothering with stranger’. Usually, this is all good and fine because things I consider to help is cases when someone forgot something and chase after them to tell them, and all people would do this. But things I am noticing these days are old ppl having difficulty climbing the stairs, and I want to offer my assistant, but my parents would just walk on by. Or, there is a kid running around a public palace looking for his mum, I didn’t speak the language, but I felt compel to act, so I paused what I was doing with my family (taking dress up photo with rented traditional costume) to try to talk with the kid. No help. But I felt like I needed to try. Anyway, I feel this tension, ‘why are you helping strangers and not caring about the family. You will happily give money to help children in the third world, but not a penny goes home. Again, I would love to give to home, but it’s not the issue, the issue is that I feel and see the need more in a place outside my four walls. ‘I keep on remembering to pray for “break my heart for what break Yours”. But now I see the consequence, I heard there was persecution, but I never thought it would be from my free thinking family…. It’s really the first time I’ve felt hard to be a Christian… maybe better put, it’s the first time I really feel difficult to be a grown and more mature adult.

So as I mentioned, it’s difficult because it becomes this viscous cycle, the more I help the more my parents think I care about others and less about them. Who knows maybe it’s true. So with my family and extended family, I try to watch and learn how others deal with my mother and father. My aunts are patient, they listen, and act even when they don’t agree, they mention how my mom cares by worrying, nagging, and planning to act in such a manner that she thinks the other person will appreciate this special gesture such as ‘saying she wants a beer, and then getting it and giving it to the person she had intended to like the beer.’ Sound complicated? Well, it is, but really it isn’t once you’ve lived it. It’s even great at first, but terrible when you don’t have any specific physical needs. When you need someone to listen, they try tell you everything she knows in other to try and help. Anyway , another thing that really really frustrates me, and be honest with me, am I just being selfish? Or should I try to stand my ground but express it in a different way. Here’s the situation, we go shopping, because mum and sis want to buy stuff, and want to bring souvenirs back home. I get it, so we go shopping. I’m done with the mall in about 15 minutes and decided to get something to eat and drink and get out of the shops. We finish shopping in an hour or so, my mom, sis, and aunts ended up getting enough stuff to fill a small box (and by small I mean pick-up-able by two hands, and weights considerably). Obviously it’s not too heavy, because I can pick it up, and I can probably walk home with it with some considerable stress, but definitely can be done. I would probably offer to do it for a girl I’m going after. So here’s the thing, my dad thinks I should be forthcoming in offering my service without being asked. And I get what he means. I should as a guy be a gentleman. And you know what, I’d do this for any of my friends or aunts. But it was the attitude that really frustrated me, there was this expectance, that as a son, you do this, no asking, and definitely no thank you. Basically, as a son, you have a responsibility. Yes I agree, but the responsibility requires a FREE WILL to do. I should not be guilt into acting, nor should I be coheased. Just hear me out for a minute here. If we played this out… if and especially in a family, if you are expected to do things without a thank you, or an acknowledgement that someone is sacrificing, or worst yet, that you are expected to fulfil a duty where two members of the family might not see eye to eye. Can you imagine such a relationship without proper communication? It would play-out into this entitlement attitude, mean spirited self-righteous, lack of respect, and selfish environment. There would be know, thanks mom for dinner, or thanks sis for treating. And yes, we don’t say this everyday, we know this because we give a nod, or we acknowledge in our hearts that we are thankful for services of each of the family member. But can you imagine what would happen if we go to a restaurant and the bill comes and the parents get upset because neither the son nor the daughter picks up the tab instinctively?

So things like this have really challenged me these past 15 days or so. Not to mentioned the difficulty of added friction with less patience between each comment between my parents and me. It’s simply things like ‘why did you run off to the washroom without taking your luggage out of the coach?’, or ‘why are you on the computer when you’re waiting for the bus, (subtle meaning of: you should of put things away so that you have hands to help our family)’. Truth is, he’s right, this is something I would do if any of us in fact needed help. We all had a CARRY ON, and my sister had an extra box which sat on her carry on. I am at a lost for words except that this is probably not that important as our patience are all wearing thin. As for my mom, she’s still telling me to go do stuff that I think are poorly planned and interrupted plans that I had intentionally try to put the family first. I adapted and executed her plan, but my face was full of dissatisfaction as I wanted to explain to her why I think it’s a bad idea. But instead I just left and did as she was told. It was difficult (acting against my better judgement and not the plan), but it turned out great. It gave me free time to think and start this long blog entry/email to my parents. Anyway, I know it’s not always going to end with the same result, and it’s going to be a constant batter for me to fight against my developed worldview and decision making versus my parents’ perspective and desires for me and my action. I know in my heart they love me, just in a different way, with a different definition of love. As love represents 3 meaning, and they best express their love with one kind. Anyway. I’m almost home, on the bus on the way to Tai Wai. I better get going, I’m looking forward to some alone time.

....

Update, dad just came to talk to me. He said I made mom feel horribly disappointed. The entire trip, she wanted me to be somewhat of the son she had in mind which she can be proud of. But to be absolutely honest, I don't know how to be that person... i just know how to be myself for better or for worst. But my dad was expressing that I need to have a higher standard when treating my mom. He expressed how I was selfish and never treated anyone on the trip, i just went off on my own to buy a coffee or get food. I then explained to him how 3/4 of my money went into treating the group, i bought a cake, paid for the taxi ride, bought coffee for my aunt, and etc. Yet since i kept it private except for my aunt which knew i bought the coffee, nobody else knew i treated, including my parents, therefore they felt i was selfish. And my dad said that the feeling is just as important. So i thought... is it then that i need to boast? or what about the people that look generous but in fact are not in reality? Anyway, more conflict on my part to express 'gua' in such a way that other's know i'm paying for it without being boastful. I'm not sure if i agree with this POV. Can anyone offer a form of suggestion as how to hand such a contradiction? Anyway, i feel terrible.

So there were several more things, such as carrying 'physically heavier items' which I mentioned earlier. But i think the deeper problem is at the foundation. The condition of my mother's heart is shading the way she views the virtue of kindness, generosity, wisdom, honestly. I'm not sure if I'd ever get at the core of it.... but I do know my father can reach her still, and maybe it'll require a partnership for this to work. The problem is that my father and I are far from any form of partnership as he always views father-son should be in some form of hierarchy. So today, we agreed that I need more patience, but to be honest, we ALL need more patience, because I am definitely not the one in my family that looses their cool often, except I'm the only one that will admit it... and my sister..... I try to bring forth that if we all work as a team in the family to support each other instead of tearing each other down at everything we do wrong, we might stop being so defensive and start listening to each other again. But my pops isn't exactly listening....

anyway.... one last item... I feel terrible about it already. My Gu Jai wanted to take me out.... and i said i wanted to look at suits because it's probably the one practical thing i can buy from HK, not to mention my aunt and Nora are excellent in fashion. Anyway, my dad comes out today after talking with her all upset, because she's taking me to 'shop'. He has no faith or trust in me that I'm really practical and really only would buy something i can afford or would see value in it in the future. Because he said, why do you want to look at suit, do you need one? You know Gu Jai is just going to pay for it if you find anything. Tell her you don't want to go see suits, but say it nicely, and not directly. Now i know my Gu Jai understands what meant when i told her I wanted to look at suits, and I know my dad is also right that she is going to insist to pay for it if i find something i like. But chances of that are fairly low, and that i wouldn't get it now anyway because it's not going to be REALLY on sale. But when i called my aunt back, i had to tell her i really didn't want to see a suit anyway, i don't have luggage space.... well, that was definitely a lie, i would like to go with them to do something they are good at, and something i would enjoy. Furthermore, it would help me in plan for the future as to what i might get and what price point i might be getting this fashion from. Anyway. I just feel terrible because I sort of intentionally mislead someone.

This apple fell far from the tree...

I had this thought conjure up in me today while I was reading a book, the story took place in South Africa during the time of the apartheid. The language and writing style was very much emphatically based. I was reading about a father, who is walking in the house of his recently diseased son whom was killed by a young black teen. The father and his son whom are white have very different perspective on the blacks. His son was a champion in speaking out against the injustice of the blacks, while the father never really cared about the topic and he doesn't have much respect for the blacks, but he doesn't have anything against them neither.

The thought that came to me was the fact that no matter how a son might have grown, or have a new changed perspective, his father might refused to learn or accept his son's perspective. I think one reason is because of the role reversal. However, it might take the sudden death of the son which might trigger the yearning of the father to walk in his son's life, and grasp with the ideas the son believes. In this book, the son leaves his convictions behind as he was abruptly murdered. As the father grasps with the words, there are a certain quality to the thoughts (because of it's truth), there is a certain emotion (because it was his last words, as he never finished the sentence), and also because this was a perspective the father never care to ponder much about (so there is this side of his son that he never got to know).

While I was reading, the author left the impression of the sadness of the community and the father and mother over the abrupt death of the son. The thought were, of all white people, why would the blacks kill a white man that champions their cause. The sadness of the inability of his son to live out his convictions. Yet as I read this, I felt... if I was in the middle of something where I had a life conviction of, and my life ended in the midst of that. That would be quite amazing! The fact that my life, is occupied by tasks that I fundamentally am incline to, and am convicted about. What more can a man ask for? In fact, I had never had a good answer of how I wanted to go... i often cop out and say 'in my sleep', well, i think now i have a new answer. Doing something I have a conviction for... in my tombstone, i want it to say, he died serving the cause to better humanity. Wouldn't that be amazing?

Anyway, that was one point, the other is this. The fact that it took the death of a son for the father to mourn, ask questions, before beginning to understanding his son's point of view. How difficult is it to truly communicate to a father? One that is close minded and stubborn? Is it possible that there is no solution unless something truly catastrophic that shakes him to the core of his foundation? I'm at a complete lost at the moment. I'm not saying I'm not close minded, stubborn, or even impatient. But right now, I feel it might be impossible to really connect with my father.... truly I say, to connect at more than an intellectual level, and more then just a emotional level, but a conversation that allows for true self reflection might never be possible. And as I read this book, the insight of the author, and the circumstances laid out in the book made me ask questions which had no answers, except that I feel so much of what the son is writing.... and now read by the father.

Celebration after the first draft

Coming up for air. That's probably a good way to describe it, have you ever just will and forced yourself to put in the effort to get something done? This dissertation, at a point, after writing about 13,000 words, and I haven't gotten to my analysis, my core report yet, I was getting worried as I'm only allowed 15,000 words inclusive... of references, and everything. But the really tough part for me was that I never saw the light at the end of the tunnel, i just knew that I had to get a draft done, and after last week, I got a first draft done, yes i am about 7000 words over, and i was missing a few points that can round out my arguement, but finally, i have something done, something that i can at least work on the next week to finish. It was super rewarding to finally get something done early, and be somewhat proud of it.... So naturally, last Friday (yesterday), i went to the highest class resturaunt in my life.... It's call Midsummer House, one of five, 2 Michelin stars resturaunt. I lavishly spend money probably that I am going to need after this year... but this 6 course meal was 'legendary'! It felt more like 8 course with all these small in betweens, but it was really good food.

Chef, Daniel Clifford
Six Course £65
Bordeaux £14













1. Some sort of sorbet? A richman's bloody mary as i was explained to by my friend
2. Chorizo, fried, wth some interesting taste
3. Cheese puffs, that's the best way i can describe it... but it's darn good


Ummm... they serve us this champagne grapfruit foamy thing :D


Umm, bread first, but then this green soup, with tiger prawns, and onion jelly i think... i can't tell, they had a french accent. But the bread was good, the crust was.... crunchy like...


Pork belly..., apple, it had a bit of chai-sui with sui-jao, but the wrapped pork belly was absolutely delcious... and the presentation was pretty darn good... oh it came with two difference sause, one was an apple puree, and i have no idea what the other was


Mackel, and caviar... done just perfect, the fish was nice and crispy on the outside, tender and so tasty on the inside.... :) ad caviar.. well i can't tell why this stuff is so expensive


1. Some part of the lamb, 'probably the best lamb i've ever had' said my friend, i'd have to agree....
2. lamb tounge, seems like it's sheered and salted.... really good stuff....
3. tomato or pepper, with beef strips.... like stewed? i don't konw.. but the combination was amazing!


Ummm... started eating this before i took a picture, there was ginger flakes, some jelly some crust, and some more pineapple pudding... really good


I don't know... there was pineapple, coconut, and lime.... you figure it out, oh this clear sheet of somethign... really cool... everything look so hand made!

Anyway... i've come to realise it's more of an experience you've going for... the food is as good as you're going to get, never going really understand how this stuff cooked, apparently, from what my friend was eating at another table, some of these things take overnight to soak and bake at super low heat, to get this beetroot infused, glucose gelatian... i don't know, but the process sounded like an engineering experiment :D

Anyway... presentation, and ambience was perfect cambridge....
-yes, that's dry ice

Anyway, going punting/pinic on the boat Saturday...

Much ado about nothing

It's amazing, how much i've never understood Shakespeare much in high school. Maybe it was because i wasn't interested, or alternatively, it was just beyond my comprehension. However, I must say, I think I have a new theory, when Shakespeare is acted out, and acted out well, it's so much easier to get the general idea.

Last night, my friend Hero invited me out to watch the play Much ado about nothing (how appropriate when the play keeps refering to one of the key characters, fair Hero) at St. John's college. I must say, the performance was great, and the overall experience was fabulous. It was a chilly evening, relatively clear skis with both blue and white, turning golden orange nad purple as the play progressed. Sitting on a picnic on the grass, with fresh bread, dips, and other chips also helped. Either way, it was a wonderful experience, i laughed, food was exactly the right type, and the play was 2 and a half hours long. I kinda wish thsi would happen more often. Anyway, no pictures to show cause i forgot my camera. But it was definitely a good high light to end off the month. :D

End of a chapter

To be honest, i'm not big for writing about endings as it sometimes seem so gloomy, setting your foot, one step before the other, knowing that it might be uncertain, and even difficult, but that this action of ours is what keeps us dependent on Him. So yes, contradictory, i know, but i guess it's like looking at it this way, i'm holding on tightly to this £20 note, but i have been given a £50 note, or even a £500 note (if that even exists). But yes, the uncertainty, or the lack of faith is sometimes what makes choices difficult.

Anyway, i wanted to say that even near the end, if you can put your imminent emotions aside, you can enjoy what you've been given. All I guess I am saying is.... I had a good time in Santorini. Here are the pictures.

http://picasaweb.google.com/hkwong05/SantoriniJuly2009#

I'm writting again!

Yes! It's nice to set aside some time to put pencil on paper, and process life as you live through it. It's been an especially difficult month in put time aside as I've been back in Toronto for a couple weeks for a friend's wedding, followed by watching classmate's marathon in Edinburgh, finally ending up in Cyprus at a friend's resort type house & beach house. Then when I got back, all I thought about was how behind i was on my dissertation. I ended up trying to catch up and work, but wan't very productive. But I'll talk about my trip and my time back in Cambridge in the next several entry. All I know is, my life has been a little imbalance, and it starting to show when all I talk about is one item, alternative, i find i can get frustrated easier because my patience is running short as i feel like i don't have enough time.

So let me talk a bit about the wedding and my time in Toronto. First of all, amazing job to my friends that planned it, they really treated their guests, and both the venue, food, and people were all first class. I absolutely had a wonderful time, and in fact the trip back for the wedding was well worth my time and money.



It was a strange time to return to Toronto, it seems everyone is hooking up, moving on, and just generally on to another stage of their lives. Most of my closest friends are getting married this year, the ones that aren't have just at the very early stage of starting something new with their significant other. Then there are the ones moving, settling into a new job, looking for a new job, or even a complete career change. All this resulted in very different experience then when i went back in December.

All in all, this motion in life i would argue is a good thing, we need to move out of our comfort zone in order to realize our limitations, open our eyes, and be able to realize how much our dependence should be on our Father. I really hope that this is becomes worthy life experience for all who embark on this new journey.

Which brings me to this realization I've had lingering around for a while, that it's not the most personable, charismatic people that have the best relationships. In fact, it's contrary to popular believes, that most approached or datable people don't always end up with the best relationship. And i think i am beginning to understand why, people who don't often have relationship just might tend to value a relationship more when they do have one, they realize the amount of work it takes to protect and build a relationship, and following that, they value what they have instead of thinking there is something better. Furthermore, they are willing to reflect and look internally to see how they might have to change to accommodate the other. Anyway, I've come to the conclusion of not trying to be most charming, good looking, or even kind to get and keep a girlfriend. Although some of these qualities are important, the most important part is caring and loving the other person. And by love, i don't mean the infatuated emotional dependence love, but the love that requires sacrifices, continually building the friendship, and also practice unconditional forgiveness. But though this is a relationship's success heavily depended on.

Alright, i've attach some of the picture from the wedding... not all of the photos are taken by me.
http://picasaweb.google.com/hkwong05/JonAndMichelleSWedding#

Contacts, My Eye, It Worked!

So I just had to try it again, this is my third time going to an optometrist, I was at a drug store with a friend picking up his glasses, and i was just browsing since he had to get the spectacle adjusted. Anyhow, the lady working there asked if I needed anything, and I was like "nope, just waiting for a friend, thanks." ...... "wait, excuse me, do you do contacts here?"

well, a couple minutes later, i booked an eye appointment, and a contact wearing session.

For those who don't know, i've tried this like 2 or 3 times at an optometrist at Pacific Mall, and i wasn't anywhere close to getting it on, not even that, i don't even know how it was suppose to be if i got it on. Anyhow, i thought, what the heck, i've been here spinning my wheel trying to resolve my dissertation topic, and can't come up with anything solid, so i thought i'd get an early morning in, come to Boots, and then go to work.

Anyhow, I got in, the "real optometrist" gave me like an hour session, FULL CHECK-UP! soooo nice.... and get this, she even put in the contacts for me! i was like... WOW, this is cool, it can actually be done! Then i started feeling a little dizzy as the image wasn't as clear as when i had my glasses on... uncertain as to why, she explain because i had a slight astigamism. Anyway, it was cool, i was like... it'd be amazing to get lazer eye surgey! Anyway, that's for another day.

So half an hour later, i learned how to put in the contacts properly, that was beautiful! Anyway, just wanted to share that, it took me forever to get them in, but at least there's hope now! i might not be blind playing playing ice hockey :D

*Yawn - but i can't fall asleep...

yikes, it's been for the better part of the week, but i can't fall asleep. it's really annoying. i'm writing right now because i can't fall asleep. my sleeping schedule has been a bit messed since last week. but you'd think with a couple of early mornings, and sleeping early, i'd be able to get back into the cycle. but i can't, i'm stuck here, in no where land, not completely awake and energetic, nor am i able to sleep like everyone else. i am very annoyed.... maybe something's on my heart because it does feel heavy... then again, maybe it was just the coffees i had this afternoon.

well, i am going to try and do something productive.... or maybe just watch a movie... but yeah... looking forward to tomorrow, a friend is visiting town... i'm really excited about that :)

Phew! It's over for now!

Wow, just finish my last assignment. man, I haven't hit such a wall writing so much in the past 3 weeks. I probably 'read', or skim 30 journals or chapters of a book, probably glanced over 30+ that were not of use, wrote 3 papers on ethics in globalisation, Japan's post-war catch-up strategy, and sustainable engineering development plan for Cornwall. Probably typed about 12,000 words, and they each essay just got less coherent as I just lost it. Have you ever got to the point where you read and nothing makes sense, you re-read it 5 minutes, later and it makes complete sense..... only to forget it in 15 minute, and then you read it, and it makes no sense again.... the best part is, it is my OWN writing. Can you imagine me looking for papers I've read to reference? Man, this was tough, i couldn't keep the information in my head and just type.

Anyway, projections, globalisation, B, stratregy policy, B-, engineering development, C..... yeah, not my best work.... But I am done... literally, just completed like 5 minutes ago. I stayed up all night to finish the paper, but the assistance isn't in yet, so i'm stuck in the office waiting... but i'm assuming that she'll be in soon, so that i can go home :D

Anyway, a couple updates, after comin back from Geneva, i had this craving for fondue... ummmm.... :D to my surprise, i made some good fondue! Well, i didn't do anything, i bought a chunk of gruyere from Tescos... such a nice store once you get aquainted, and then i just put some garlic in, melt the cheese in low temp, and dipped some fresh french baggettes... it was pretty good! Oh, almost forgot to mention, had a gerwurtzraminer with the fondue....FANTASTIC!

The other great thing that happen in the week was that I finally gave up looking for the brown pair of shoes which i've been looking for all year! The shoes here are either not the right style, or they are too expensive. Mostly, they are just not the right style, and for those who know me, you know how darn picky i can be :P Anyhow, as i was shopping for shoes, the nth time now, i had a eurika moment! I realise shoes here don't exactly go "on sale" like they do in Canada, they just disappear off the shelf when they don't sell, and they have sales like 3 times a year to get rid of their stock. Anyway, i realize that the prices weren't really going to go down unless i get really lucky. At the same time, the sun was out, it was really getting warm, and I've been getting off the brown/fall colour mood.... i kinda wanted the bright summer colours! On top of which, i realise that I've always wanted a pair of converse, but never bought them cause i thought they were too expensive , something like $70 CDN for the black hightops. Anyway, with the exchange rate somewhere between 1.8-1.9, and the fact that these converse NEVER go on sale either in Canada or UK (really effective marketing), and that they are £34.99 here... Not to mention that i found out Schuh, a shoe store here, hehehehe...... gives 10% discount to students! So, i paid £30 including tax for my new shoes! yah! say high to the rest of the shoe family taylors....

Easter Tomorrow!

It's Easter tomorrow, i really miss my friends at home whom are able to help me reflect and focus on the importance of the day. Miss you guys at home.... I really wish there was a sunrise service group for me to be apart of.

Geneva and Avoriaz

http://picasaweb.google.com/hkwong05/GenevaAvoriaz#

This past weekend, I was in Geneva. It was such a nice small city, I can see why it's always ranked top 5 city to live in the world. It reminds me of Vancouver a lot, there are mountains, water, and skiing all within an hour away. There's John Calvin's home church here, and also, i just found it to be a city where you can just BE, instead of finding something to DO. Check out the grandpa playing ping-pong with his grandson, as the grandma watches. Oh it's such a nice weekday morning thing to do.



Got to visit a friend's place this weekend, it was really nice to catch up with him and talk a little ice hockey, music, and what God's done in our lives. Anyway, Geneva is definitely a desirable place to live, literally, a tiny center with all different ethics live together, while maintaining their culture and roots. It was quite nice to see everyone mixing and mingling... lots of asians :D speaking chinese, french, and different languages.... It was really nice to hear all the different languages together.... kind of makes me wish I can speak different languages.





Anyway, there was still some snow left in the Alpes, we went to Avoriaz on Sunday. Man, I am rusty on the slopes... none the less, it was beautiful, nothing like gliding through the midst of something so magnificent. It's not unlike Whistler, except a lot more skiers than boarders.



Gorgeous, just absolutely gorgeous.

Anyway, spent the Monday in Geneva, man, this engineering error is so.... mesmerizing, it's like over a 100 meters tall i think (that's like 50 stories high, in a city where there is no high-rise), and it there because of an engineering mistake... how do you like that? we got creativity, even if it's just a mistake, and probably consumes unimaginable power. Anyway, it's so pretty to see the water go where the wind takes it, and at the same time, the force and danger in the water pressure to shoot up 100 meters, flexible, yet strong, piecing, but beautiful.



BTW, I can't afford anything in Switzerland... the lowest bill they give out is a 100 Francs, a shramwa is like 12 Francs.

England's West Coast

So I had my class road trip to Cornwall (West coast of England). It was quite touristy, we stayed in a town call Newquay, and it was quite a surfing town. We saw Jack Johnson there, (no we didn't, but the people in the hotel told us Jack Johnson was here, and hung out one night at the Walkabout, an Australian bar). Anyway, I never knew how far you can drive one direction in the UK. I always thought the UK isle were small... but i think we did like 8 hours of driving.... (puke!)















So, we visited Woking on our way to Newquay, and it was quite interesting and encouraged to see a city coucil take on the role of providing electricity and heating for its community, the most notable differences between crowned Thames Water (subsidary of Woking city council) vs a company like British Petrolium would be the underlining mission, Thames is there to provide power and heating for the people, even when it is cutting into their profits such as providing monitors for consumption, having a cap on utility bills, and even matching private electricity prices. While BP would seek to maximise profit for their shareholders, forcing them to act even when it might seem gray such as shutting down a customer's power when they don't pay. Anyway, it was neat to see that this was going on.... But I must say however, after seeing such a corporately responsible and relatively sustainble practice, i wasn't enticed by it...



Out on the west coast, Cornwall, we visited the Eden Project. Very neat, they basically regenerated from an old pit, which was created by extracting china clay from the ground. Anyway, these old pit sites were an issue because they were just "there", and developers needed to work with them to regenerate these areas of Cornwall. Anyway, the Eden Project was a bio-dome project, to create basically the Garden of Eden without the animals... just one kind of homosapeians, and well, actually birds live there too now. Anyway, it's just a wonderful project that turned a large pit into several gardens, a mediterrian, tropical, and UK weather type gardens. It was a really neat project as they tried to be at one with nature, aiming to be waste neutral, and really reusing as much as they can, taking the cradle to cradle approach (Where products thrown away are taken apart, and completely reused) very literally. Anyway, the garden was Beautiful.




We did a few more things while our class was out in Cornwall. But to be honest, it was just a really good time to hang out with a group of friends that we've bonded so well over the past 6 months. We did a open-mic at the Walkabout, some people tried surfing, and we just walked barefoot on the beach, climb caves, did clockwheels, learned yoga and breakdancing. (umm... seems really unrelated, well, it makes sense in my head :D)



Oh, coming back, we hit TRAFFIC! seriously, when there's an accident here on the motorways, traffic doesn't move. And worst, the M25, main route from London going north- which we would need to get on to get back to Cambridge, was CLOSE! -eeeewk... i think it took us 10 or 11 hours to get back. I think i was getting motion sickness when i got home, sitting on my chair, in front of the computer, completely motionless. And the worst part is, i will be back on the bus in 5 hours, off to Stansted Airport for Geneva. I mean i look forward to it, but another hour bus ride, waiting at the airport, and then an hour 30 plane ride... oh boy....

Pictures from Cornwall
http://picasaweb.google.com/hkwong05/Cornwall#

Wagamama, Sunday Roast, London

Another assignment submitted this past Friday, only a couple more to go now. But I must say, it feels like I'm submitting sub-par assignments, it doesn't seem as clear what I need to do for each assignment, and when I thought I figured out a good layout for what the assignment is looking for, but it turns out there was more to it then I thought, and thus i have much less confidence in my assignment these days. Anyhow, things are good.... not as intense trying to make it to all the lectures anymore, instead, really picking and selecting speakers/lectures I want to hear, and absorbing it as much as i can. It's great to hear so many ambitious people explaining their area's of interest, whether it is technical talk on Natural Ventilation by architectures, or foreign diplomats speaking about their life experience, somehow, I find things are more connected than I had ever perceived. The movement towards a responsible type living, is at the core of some of these individuals/group's purpose. You hear about how a building can be ventilated without the requirement of heating/cooling over 80% of the year, what a great achievement that would be... and yet it is already being done. Then, you hear diplomats talk about the challenges of serving in a country with a rising economy and middle class that is unprecedented in our era, and you hear the intricacy of posturing, learning about a new culture... and to what end? Watching out for your home country's national interest.... yet in the mist of that, you can hear the appreciation and a new sense of understanding of how different country do things differently, we might perceive it to be incorrect, slow, or even inefficient at first, but somehow, overtime, the slow and steady approach has proven most robust.

Anyhow, it seems the next step is to find a full time job, and hope to fit in the schedule to sit in and learn from interesting classes. So anyway, after last Friday, I took a break and just walked around town with some friends, checked out different shops, had a coffee, lemon tart, and went to Wegamama's for the first time. I must say, i was pretty happy with the meal, it didn't hurt that we had a 2-for-1 deal here. I must say, 2-for-1 are the things of Cambridge. After that, we went to Trinity Hall for some £1 drinks... (alcohol heavy drinks), then it was St. Edmunds.... the night was a bit of a blur, just remembered a lot of shhhh-ing, getting caught trying to open a bar, and Rebecca and Phillipe rapping to Vanilla Ice.

http://picasaweb.google.com/hkwong05/EmmanuelWagamamaTrinityHallPhillipe#

























Sunday, I was invited to a Sunday Roast in Stansted Moutfitchev. It was pretty cool to be in a traditional english farm. Was able to enjoy a good meal, with good friends, and see a different side of England along with some really cute kids.... :)

http://picasaweb.google.com/hkwong05/SundayRoast#


























After that, it was down to London to meet up with Cath and some friends. Notice there's a picture with Cath with her glasses on.... so rare.... :D
http://picasaweb.google.com/hkwong05/CathInLondon#

Lent Term Over

School and classes are officially over last week! We're in the middle of lent.... and I've given up meat for either lunch or dinner each day until Easter. It's surprisingly not as simple as I thought, meat in my fridge is going bad, and i've bought much more veggies. However, junk food's slightly gone up.... :( (If you're ever in the UK, buy Sensation's - Thai Sweet Chili crisps/chips, you'll be happy you did :D)

Anyhow, going back to school, I must say it has been pretty amazing, I have met some wonderful people here in Cambridge. My time has been rewarding as the education is very interesting, and I am taking away some framework and practical theories (...hmmm.... :P) on development studies, globalisation, technology and competition policies, and business stratergy. It's great to be in school when you have context as to what and why you want to learn. Furthermore, my time here has been rewarding as I feel that I am in a position to offer back, whether it is spiritually, or through experience in life, I find my experience and maturity 5 years out of school, has taught me to be patient in love and caring for others. And it is most exhiliating to feel in sync and active in His plan.

So this past week, after class was done and I submitted another paper, a few of us from class decided to take advantage of the available theather selection in London, and the student pricing, and not to mention the no class on Monday mentality :D

Anyway, I really liked the musical, I love how different a perspective this story gives when it is base off the facts from the Wizard of Oz. Now I know it's only a story, and it's made purposely this way. But can you imagine how often we jump to conclusion, and new studies even show how our brians love to make shortcuts and assumptions in order that we don't have to test everything and improve efficiency. Like the study where people were shown a bunch of long words, but the some of the middle letterswere taken out. It results show that people just made assumptions and pronounce the word without the missing letter. I am ALWAYS guilty of this, but I must say it serves me right more times than not. Anyhow, to get back on track, Wicked was great, it was really funny at times, not to mention how silly it was. Oh, also been humming the songs... i am definitely a bit of an emo, i seem to hum all the epic moment/sad emo tunes....... then again, maybe it's because they were the best one in the musical... yeah... that's it :D

I also went to Hillsong church. The energy was so intense! But I actually realize how this was not the type of church for me, and had in fact a tough time worshiping and really getting anything out of the service. I really had to try and focus during worship to not notice the really cute base-player... i was like... WOW, female base-player that played with great coolness and style.... The smoke, flashing lights, and non-ciculating air also didn't help as I was just "cream-crackered" :D... but i must say, they put together a pretty tight show. And the music... the music was great... almost like going to a free concert!

Ummm... what else.... Yup, discovering another section of London! Oh man i love this city...... I'll be brief.... Brick Lane Market (4 stars), Covert Gardens (4.5 stars) --> fresh Friuli from tap on a warm sunny day (5 stars). Walking around London and its market on a sunny day is just like an advanture. Never know wher exactually where you're going to end up, but it's almost always good.

Well, until next week... Ummm... Cath is going to be in town :D

http://picasaweb.google.com/hkwong05/WickedMarch162009#

Dissapointment...

I guess you know where this is going.... but i must say, it was a disappointing lost because we were a better team, we were a team that have played better in previous games, and it hurts all that more when we just came out flat on the most important game. We trained 3 times a week all year, late Sunday nights, early Thursday mornings, late Tuesday nights. We all gave a bit of our life to the team, and when we don't live up to our potential, that is what really hurts. It's kind of like the analogy when you see someone with so much potential waste their lives away...

ps. will post pictures up later.

Varsity Tomorrow

Wow, never knew how important varsity match was. It's serious here.... team bonding was fun yet serious..... i'm really growing fond of team building journey, sharing scars, listening to each other... there are still disagreements, but we work around them to get to the goal... and it's a goal where everyone is willing to take a back seat so that the entire team might succeed.

hk

Hero’s change = my change

I was invited to take part and help my classmate Hero implement her change project today. We took surveys at St John’s Buttery to see whether people are in favour of a no-meat day, once a week. By taking part in the questioning, hearing the facts, and then processing it in my head to see how I might present this succinctly during the survey, I began to ponder what questions people might ask me in response. As a result of this process, I have come to the realization that the one meat-free day can be achieved pretty easily in my life, though I must mention that coming to such a conclusion was unintentional. I’ve discovered that the value of the survey to me is not a matter of whether I begin following the standard Hero asked for (one meat-free day per week), but that I am now more conscious of the fact that when I choose my meal, I CAN choose a less carbon-intensive vegetarian meal, and yet I don’t need to feel bad for eating meat either. I am now more aware of the facts in my meal choices, and am wrestling with the choices towards eating a less environmentally impactful meal so that I can live happily informed, and not by bliss through ignorance.

Upon further reflection, I realize that by positing my efforts and progress on my blog, my friends have the chance to, hopefully, pick up the language of sustainable living, and that my blogging has been part of my role of change agent. Hopefully, my effort to step out of my comfort zone has had an incremental yet profound effect on their perspectives of what they can do. Furthermore, I hope anyone reading this would become more conscience about recycling, while fostering the idea of re-using as an attractive alternative like vintage clothing, realise the curb in consumption when people are tracking their behaviour(water bottles & disposal cups), and also be educated that eating meat, is generally more carbon intensive, hopefully encouraging effort in less meat consumption.

Advice from an Unlikely Source

The housekeeping lady, Heidi was just cleaning my kitchen and bathroom, and we started talking about pancake since I was having some. She noticed I collected all these cardboard boxes (pizza boxes) and she explained to me how it’s rubbish that Wolfson’s paper recycling is so inconvenient. She offered to take them by the main recycling bin for me, and I explained to her my change challenge. We struck up a great conversation, and I found that she use to work for Clare College, and they have paper recycling for each room. I asked whether she would mind having to carry a separate bag for recycling, and she was more than delighted as she’s practices recycling at home. She also mentioned that the housekeeping staff at Wolfson are generally accommodating. She in fact would prefer each student having their own paper recycling, and collecting it on a weekly bases similar to that from Trinity Hall. This paper-recycling project is materialising quite nicely.

Responses from Green Officers

So I’ve received 4 responses from other green officers:

• According to Steve from St. Catherine’s College their collection for paper recycling is in the kitchen, and student volunteers empty it.
• Michael from St. John’s said that his college gives a biodegradable bag to each student; the bedder empties the bag when it is full.
• Joan from Homerton said they have central paper recycling bins in their kitchen, and that it gets emptied into the college primary recycling bin twice a week where it is collected by the recycling company. She thinks the key is not to collect too much paper at one time in an open bin as it would present a fire hazard.
• Laurie from Trinity Hall said that each student has a separate bin to collect paper, and the bin is emptied once a week. She was able to convince the bedder that the students would be throwing the paper in the rubbish bin anyway, so there is no extra waste collected.
  

I believe there is something to be learned from each response. For one, having personal recycling bins in every room is feasible since it can be argued that there is not an overall increase of workload: students will be throwing paper away regardless if there is recycling. Thus, providing a recycling bin, gives students the option to recycle. Alternatively, a central recycling bin in each block could also work as examples taken from other college show that the fire hazard concern can be overcome. Now I need to set up the meeting with Saman, the bursar, housekeeping, and maintenance to present them with the three options for recycling paper; hopefully they will buy into the idea.

A New Hope

So, do you remember how I said the product exchange between students idea was dead in its tracks several weeks ago? Well, stand back, because it’s alive again. I love how things work themselves out sometimes. I told several people about my idea of to setting up a product exchange, and the problem of there being no feasible location. Well, Uven, a Graduate Student Representative mentioned the idea to the Student Graduate Union President, and the President likes the idea. In fact, a room is coming free by the end of the school year, and I am going to get a chance to speak with the president of the grad union to present this idea, help students get settle in for free (or much lower cost), while also reducing University of Cambridge’s carbon footprint. Hallelujah! Cartoon, [Friedman, D., 2008] http://www.ironicsans.com/images/anewhope.png

Possible Locations for Recycling

So today, I went to take pictures of the college. I never realized how unique each of Wolfson’s21 blocks are. There are about 8 unique floor layouts in Wolfson, and I went to collect empirical data by taking photos of where current recycling bins are located, and possible location to place new recycling. So far, I think there is a really good potential for each wing to have their own central recycling bin. This would also be good visual tool for the bursar and housekeeping staff to see where recycling bins can be placed.

The ball is rolling!

[Steinberg, 1963] http://www.cartoonbank.com/Assets/1/66286_s.gif
I found the contact for the green officer at Wolfson, Saman and sent him an email yesterday asking for an existing green project I can champion, and that I would like to help out in any way possible. He was extremely helpful as we met today to talk about ongoing green projects at Wolfson and my ideas for change. I told him that I am not trying to add to his workload, but that I would be happy to champion any of the existing projects on his list. Saman was very supportive of my ideas, and told me the personnel that I will need to get on-board are the bursar, housekeeping staff, and maintenance staff. This was extremely helpful information, and it also helped that he wanted to see these initiatives through.

I guess from this experience, I learned that if I was looking at the situation from the point of view of the people that I approached, I would have wanted the person approaching me to have looked into what green projects were already in place. I’d like to be approached by someone who came with a serving attitude, and was willing to learn about the system, instead of being the new guy with all the ideas and answers, who then leaves after 5 months. I think this also speaks loudly about the type of person you are, one that takes time to notice what good is already happening, and then add try to it by investing your time, ideas, and effort. This would be the kind of person I would want on my team.

From speaking with Saman, I discovered that I need to do a couple things to get these changes rolling. First, we agree that it would be better to have one person contact the bursar, housekeeping staff, and maintenance staff to get their buy-in before setting up a formal meeting. Saman has offered to do this as he has a working relationship with them. As for the paper recycling, there are several issues, the most important one to overcome is that it is a fire hazard. Currently, common recycling bins (glass, plastic, and cans) are placed in the kitchen or hallway. The argument against offering recycling bins in the kitchen is that paper in the kitchen would be a fire hazard. The second issue is that we might dramatically increase the workload of housekeeping if we place recycling bins in each dorm. Instead of reinventing the wheel, my first task will be to contact green officers in other colleges to find out how they overcome the fire hazard issue, and whether the housekeeping staff in other buildings are okay with collecting paper recycling from each dorm. Second, I will survey the entire Wolfson College campus to see if I can find at least one suitable location in each wing to place a central paper-recycling bin. As I mentioned before, there are only 3 places to recycle. I admit, during the past several months, I rarely made the trip out to these recycling bins myself.

February

Photos [BBC News, 2009]

I can't believe it's the second week of February in 2009!

Oh man, I think i realize the significance of this, as I have 4 more weeks of Lent term, and it's Easter! That means a TON of assignments, and a lot of catching up. I was just getting back into the grove of things, and I've stacked... and also readjusted my schedule so that it is more manageable. I've stop being as ambitious in attending all the classes i'm interested in. I've learned to take time for Sabbath, hanging out and having brunch, cooking and making crepes with straberries, blackberries, bananas, lime juice, pomegranate, nutella.... not all together of course... but it made a good friday into a wonderful friday!

So i'm finally feeling the squeeze a bit, and started picking up on my work :D I love and also hate how i work off emotions... when i feel the urgency, i tend to work so much more efficiently. And i've been more focus... so i hope i'm retaining more of the information i'm studying!

Furthermore, been getting to know a couple friends here my college... quite by chance to be honest... but God's put them in my life, and I'm completely grateful. I found a friend that I can relate to, and it's been wonderful. We've been helping each other out a bit in our walks too, coincidence ;) It's amazing how things work out. Anyway... life's moving and changing again... so i'll definitely try to keep up in my next post.

Assignment is due in a couple weeks!

Blame it on time management, or lack of ideas, but I need to get a move on this Change assignment. I need to come up with something where I can make more progress, I am going to pursue the paper recycling idea and see where I get.

An experience with the Porter :(

I had my first “encounter” with the porters in which it seems like I am asking them to give up one of their kidney. It wasn’t the most pleasant experience as I was asking David, whether there is a location in Wolfson to store items so that students can pass on some basic utensils and products to students in the following year. In short, they pretty much told me that there is no room for storage, and that if I have anything to sell, just post it to the Wolfson junior member email. I think I ran into several problems going this route, first, I went in thinking the porters were there to help me, I was completely wrong on that. Second, I think David figure that there is something similar in place and this would be redundant. Third, I think he thought this was extra work for them, managing the extra items and there would not be of any benefit for them. So this was a completely dead end, I couldn’t even get a name to explain my idea to someone else. He kind of rushed off and left me there. It was disappointing to be rejected.

My motivation was to start a chain of exchange program, no money involve, just students leaving useful product to other students, easing the load on their wallet as that first month in Cambridge can get very expensive. Also, this scheme would help students leaving Cambridge to feel more environmental friendly as their product is finding a good home without needing to do the work to sale small items. I am convinced after sharing this idea with several friends and classmates, that there is definitely a demand for this type of system, and that it is a good idea.

Ideas… Need some ideas…

Oh wow, Philippe’s already started his project, he’s collecting data on our plastic bottle and disposable cup consumption. I need to start thinking of ideas. So far, I’ve come up with two ideas that might be feasible.

1. Setting up a product exchange between students.

Being a frugal student, and only being here for 1 year, I would have appreciated access to pots and pans, dishware, cutlery, and other relatively inexpensive, but too heavy to bring items. Since Cambridge is very international, and has a high rate of student turnover, I think there must be excessive amount of waste at the end of the school year for each student. It would be great if some of these products can be passed on to students in the following year.

2. Paper recycling at Wolfson College.

To my surprise, Wolfson College does not have paper recycling. Let me rephrase that, it does, but only in 3 key areas: next to the Porter’s lodge, in the computer room, and next to the main dumpster. I am hoping to make recycling more accessible for each student.
I am going to have to do some initial research for these ideas.

Need Your Ideas!

This is going to be a short post. As I am my conscience is not at ease. I recently saw a photograph of a public punishment carried out by the Taliban on the Financial Times, a picture of a 4 men holding down a person on the ground, and a fifth beating the man on the ground. I was compel to read on, I realize how the Taliban has slowly began invading Pakistan, with a non-responsive (or slow to respond) government. Meanwhile, people are being threaten and killed, schools bombed, women oppressed, education for women, forbidden, and broadcasting over the radio their ideas, and the people who have disobey their order, and will be punished, or killed.

I was pretty disturbed by this already, and then this event was contrasted by the Cambridge Student Sit-in at the University Law Department to get action from the University condemning the action of Israel on Gaza. I am by no means an experts in this area, but to me, the situation is complex, and representation of any side on Gaza is highly partisan. Yet there is a voice, from the students at Cambridge that wish for the University to take a stance against Israel's action. And I feel stuck at wanting to do something about the situation in Swat, Pakistan. I know petitions can be created, and action can be done... but what is "literally", the first step? I am completely new at this, i haven't been able to find other groups to encourage or promote action internationally to alleviate the oppressed and restore peace in Swat. Any ideas?

Or as they say in china...Piong Pong!

Haven't had a chance to post this because i never uploaded the pictures i wanted to link with this post. Anyway, it was another trip to London... great trip to Borough Market, would definitely suggest it if you're ever here. Follow by some skating at Somerset House.... Tiffany's sponsored!

BTW, there's this restaurant call Ping Pong! it was so funny, reminded me of Balls of Fury, this urban yuppie, yet trying to be traditional chinese restaurant. Not to mention expensive. But yeah, it was fun... went witha couple of friends... had a bunch of dim sum, and surprisingly, it was quite traditional... most of it anyway.... anyway, just some pictures.



http://picasaweb.google.com/hkwong05/SkatingAtSomerset#

Movie Movie Movie

Things are getting back into full speed here in Cambridge, and even though physically I'm just about there, i'm mentally not quite there.... the insecurities are kind of creeping up on me once again. Nothing major, but i find i am not picking up the words and sentences sometimes when the lecturer is presenting, or i find myself losing track on where the class is going. And it's a vicious reciprocating cycle because you then spend time thinking or trying to understand what you just heard, and you begin missing the next important point. Anyway, my point is, i think i need to get my emotions back up so that i can learn like the first term. But i know emotion doesn't last, and there needs to be that hard working ethics and focus that i will need to get me anywhere.... argh... so tough... i work so much better under pressure or when i really enjoy something.... potential that i can't tap!






(6.5/10)







(8.5/10)







(8.5/10)


So one of the ritual i've kind of gotten use to here in Cambridge is going to this theater call the Arts Picturehouse. It's a great place to see films, the crowd... reminds me of back home, not just students, sophicated working people, from their 20s to 60s i think. They all kind of hang out there half an hour before the film starts grabbing a snack and having a drink, and just having a merry ol' time. The film selection there have been most excellent.... Slumdog Millionaire (great recommendation!), Cha (had higher expectations), Frost/Nixion (excellent, really enjoyed it, didn't know Frost graduated from Cambridge :D), there was also Waltz with Bashir, and there other great films..... But seen 3 movie in just over a week! Love student pricing, and the wine and beers you can bring into the theater with the soft comfee seats! So relaxing... i think it's one of my fav place in Cambridge for getting away!