The heart is a puzzle

So a few days in the uk has really helped me clear some misconception in my head.

My life was in limbo while I was in Toronto, no work, living at home, and haven't had a car until end of February. But on reason I didn't settle right away was because I wanted to come back to Cambridge. Why? I had a good experience there, great relaxing place, academics central, but most of all, Vivian.

Since my visit, I've realize how much my wanting to be n cambridge was to do with Vivian. I've realize, yes she's beautiful, but there is more to it because we click, and we have chemistry. But I also realize out life goals are pretty far apart... Makes me think that it might be better if we went out separate ways. But my heart would not agree, it wouldn't let go of her. I couldn't have what I want, and she didn't really want me or to be in a relationship right now. So, coming to it head on, I now feel weak and kind of linsy because I miss her company. In all respect, this is good because I can move on as I should of done six months ago... But why is the heart so stubbon. And why is it when a guy wants a girl but the girl is t interested, it's amist?

Anyway, I got to celebrate Easter today!! So happy.. I went to holy trinity brompton in London, saw Andrew? Gumble, and heard Tim Hughes sung I think. The energy was great, the congregation diverse, some praising in a slow worship, others where popping and rocking it. I fell in love with this picture of well produce Christian production as an sacrifice to our Lord. I want to share my life with someone shares that.

Also, I feel like work is finally settling down, Maybe I too can also settle in and stop spinning my wheels on time wasting thoughts.